“I never had a group of friends before”

I wonder what my friend-chart would look like.//

Making friends not being in school is quite the process. A very tangible process.
I can almost see the friendship bar filling up and also not moving at the same time.

Making friends with people who are at different stages in their life than you are is also pretty difficult. And making friends with people who already have friends is also pretty difficult. 

It is not in my nature to make the first move. But here I am, trying to plan outings with people and convince myself that I actually don’t want to keep going places by myself.

I like being alone, but do I actually like being alone? Or am I just trying to convince myself (and everyone else) that I like being alone? 

Eh. It’s a process.


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