“Set the record straight”

I know if I am successful
if a white person says I am.

 

If a white man shows any interest in me,
I know I am desirable to anyone.

If a black man shows any interest in me,
It means nothing for some reason.

not for some reason.

If I am affirmed by my black friends
I feel good about it, confident even.

But if I am affirmed by a white person, professionally or personally
I know I’ve done something right.

Why?

Do I take advantage and assume that because we are kin,
share the same skin,
share the similar  struggles
that their affirmation is to be expected?

Do I feel the need to work harder,
play the part more,
convince
white people that I

belong,
am attractive,
smart,
am successful,
am competent,
good enough?

Why do I feel more pleased with myself when my white friends and co-workers compliment my hair?
or my clothes?
than when my black friends and co-workers say it?

“Yes! They’ve accepted me as

one of their own”

 

“I belong in this white space

ergo

I belong anywhere”

 

Why does the idea of ending up with a white man feel

vindicating?

 

“See, if even white men find me attractive then…….

I am worth having”

 

“I’m the only person of color in my immediate department,

they must trust me

I’m doing something right

that these white people want me around…

success.”

 

Prolonged exposure does tend to result in Stockholm syndrome.

 

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